December 2008
46 posts
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How to identify a zombie
Spotting a zombie can be a difficult task. Corporate types and most politicians can easily be mistaken for the life-impaired. Caution and common sense are always the rule when a non life-impaired citizen attempts to: A) IDENTIFY, and B) DESTROY a zombie. The following is a list of things to look for when presence to the life-impaired is suspect:
Disheveled appearance
Unresponsive to...
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“They’re all going to end up like that. Bio-mechanical weapons driven by...”
– Military Scientist, Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)
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What are your chances of surviving a zombie... →
Take the Zombie Survival quiz and find out for yourself. My results were, less than satisfactory…
39%
Now you know why I created this site… damn it.
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Zombie Attack →
The world is under attack by zombies. Watch what happens.
Read the play by play account of a zombie attack. This is a good read if you want to get a feel of things before the actual event. You can also use it as a training script for a zombie surival drill.
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Brain-Eating Amoeba Gets Massive Media Attention →
There’s no news of reanimation but it could be a government cover up.
In any case, I’d avoid warm swims in the lake from now on.
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modern zombies
Modern zombies, as portrayed in books, films, games, and haunted attractions, are quite different from both voodoo zombies and those of folklore. Modern zombies are typically depicted in popular culture as mindless, unfeeling monsters with a hunger for human flesh, a prototype established in the seminal 1968 film Night of the Living Dead. Typically, these creatures can sustain damage far beyond...
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“This is just what I wanted my son to see. Take him to work, get attacked by...”
– Warden Mahler, Dead Men Walking (2005)
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Top 10 Household Items to Annihilate a Zombie
A Consisive Zombie Kill’em Guide from loyalkng.com
Have you ever found yourself at home minding your own business, then all of a sudden some brainless zombie pops out screaming some gibberish about your brains? Well, if your not as flattered by that as I am, then I have some great ways to scrape that meat scud off your lawn, and toss that waffle-neck in a ditch! Now I bet your saying “But,...
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fear what you cannot bring yourself to say
Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: All right... are there any out there, though?
Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.
-from Shaun of the Dead
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“Your mother ate my dog!”
– Paquita Maria Sanchez, Dead Alive (1992)
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excited
I notice I use a lot of exclamation marks on this blog. Its no wonder they take me seriously.
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“I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m not alive. I’m...”
– Julie, Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)
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Amazon
Someone saved me the trouble of creating a Zombie Survival Kit list on Amazon. Awesome!
Cool idea. I will proceed to make one myself. Now, do I add Cheezles or Cheese-Os to my rations list?
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Dark Rapture - Count Basie
weekly theme song
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“Sorry we have to leave you here, but it just ain’t right to eat your...”
– Luke, Undead or Alive (2007)
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email
So I got an email from my friend Mariam today about some bread she wanted me to check out. Cadaver bread that is!
I guess its never too early to prepare myself mentally…
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proof
I don’t know what’s the matter with everyone today, but it seems that there are a lot of a-holes and brainless zombies out there. A perfect day to say someone to eff off. Thankfully tomorrow is the last day of work for this year.
you betcha ass there’s zombies out there! :)
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zombie walks
A zombie walk (also known as a zombie mob, zombie march, zombie horde, zombie lurch, zombie shuffle or zombie pub crawl) is an organized public gathering of people who dress up in zombie costumes. Usually taking place in an urban centre, the participants make their way around the city streets and through shopping malls in a somewhat orderly fashion and often limping their way towards a local...
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escape
I always wonder if I could survive a major disaster. Sometimes, I walk around the city and look for suitable places to hide from zombies or alien invaders. Inside the LRT train tunnels, under the Central Market bridge. Office air vents. There’s a dozen safe havens in this city. And I can always drink rain water. Unless the aliens turn them acidic. Then I might have a problem. Sometimes, I...
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“Zombies don’t read. They ain’t hooked on phonics. So give it a rest.”
– Griffin, House of the Dead 2: All Guts, No Glory (2005)
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“I’d say I’m a pretty darned good father. My father tried to eat me....”
– Mr. Robinson, Fido (2006)
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Zombie Haiku
Zombie Haiku by Dylan Thomas Do not go gentle into that zombie plagued night. And take the shotgun.
Zombie Haiku by Silvia Plath From head to black shoe, daddy, I had to eat you because I’m starving.
Zombie Haiku by Robert Frost Two lobes in the skull. I eat the bloodier one – not much difference.
Zombie Haiku by e.e. cummings if anyone lived in this wretched how town (they) would...
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origin
There are several possible etymologies of the word zombie. One possible origin is jumbie, the West Indian term for “ghost”. Another is nzambi, the Kongo word meaning “spirit of a dead person.” According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the etymology is from the Louisiana Creole or Haitian Creole zonbi, of Bantu origin. A zonbi is a person who is believed to have died and...
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surviving an attack
You wont know it until the time comes, but to survive (a zombie attack), you’ll need a reason to go on living. Mine is you.
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zombies
what I don’t get is, if their so hungry and stupid, why don’t they just eat each other.